Life Lived in Thirds

Last week my daughter Rachel visited my brother-in-law, John in Ocean City, NJ. John was having a family reunion for his 90th birthday. It got me to thinking about planning a similar party with my own family if I make it to 90. I also started thinking about how that goal would represent the final third of a person's life.

My friend Frank and I retired from IBM at the same time. We discussed what we would do with our remaining years. His wife, Lucy's dad had retired at 65 and lived to be 95. Those 30 years, as I saw it, would be equivalent to an additional lifetime. A person could go back to school, learn something completely different and start a whole new career. Along with that, there would be the potential for an even higher degree of success in a new profession. This thirty year portion, unlike the previous periods of life, would provide an even greater opportunity for success. This time you would be doing it as an accomplished adult. It could be the most productive third of a person's life.

I began to think about my life having been lived in thirds. The first third and the second third each contained enough significant events to have been entire lifetimes. It would probably seem the same for most of us. Let me explain.

From birth to age 30  - These are the years of youth and development. The years between birth and say, 13 or 14 were, for me, years of being almost "unconscious". I have very few memories of those years, but the following years through age 30, contained all of the activities of an entire lifetime. I went from being a  kid to an adult, finished my schooling and joined the service. I fought in a war (Korea). I married Sophia, attended night school, and helped raise our family. Our years were filled with happiness, challenges and some sadness, when we lost both of our Moms and Pops. All of that happened within the first 30 years of life - one third.



From age 30 to age 60 - The next thirty year portion, were years of work and finding a career direction. I continued my schooling and started developing the skills that I would use to earn a living. I was able to enjoy a very productive period as an IBM Senior Technical Educator. After retiring from IBM, my wife, Sophia and I started a consultant company. We enjoyed much travel and success with our little venture. Sophia passed away during this period at the early age of 58. I dissolved the company and retired again, ending another whole lifetime - the second third.

From age 60 to age 90 - I am now in the final third. I am amazed at the amount of time available in this third. I have done my best to stay productive and to remain a person of consequence. I furthered my education in grad school, learned new hobbies and engaged in many new activities. During this third of life, I've been able to enjoy watching my children as they work through their "middle third".

I still have a lengthy list of things that I didn't have time for in the second third of my life. There are the books that are still to be read, and those that I will write; there are new hobbies to learn, new people to meet, old songs and new songs to be sung and wonderful memories to be recalled.

Now, about that birthday celebration. Of course, I can't be sure that it will arrive, but just in case, I've decided to start a new hobby - making candles :-)

The Last Lecture

I'm reminded of a wonderful book, "The Last Lecture" written by Randy Pausch while he was dying. In his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University in the

Fall of 2007, facing pancreatic cancer and the 

likelihood that he would only live a month or two, 

Randy summed up his life’s wisdom for his kids (then 

1,2, and 5). He also gave his lecture to several hundred in a CMU auditorium. That lecture has now been viewed on YouTube by millions of Americans. 

Thankfully, God has allowed me to reach a ripe old age and, at this point, I do not have the same challenge that Mr. Pausch had to face. What is similar, however, is that all of us have a limited amount of life left. Like Randy, I am also having to think if there is any wisdom or philosophy that I should share with my kids and friends. 

                                  

I don't think so. It has always been important to me that I share my thoughts with my kids, wife and friends, during my life as I lived it. So, it won't be necessary for me to write or to give a "Last Lecture". Over the years I have made most of my thoughts available in the classes I taught.

                           

After my retirement, I did have a desire to tell my kids the entire story of their mom and dad. I wanted them to know us when we were kids, how we grew up and how we met. I wanted them to know all of the joys and the sadness of being alive. I wrote the book "Inner Dialogue" for that purpose. Since I needed only three copies, I learned the art of bookbinding. I constructed the tools I needed, printed pages, sewed them and then bound them into books. 

 
 
 
 

 

The other books I've written have pretty well covered anything else that I think I'd want to leave behind for them and my friends. 

My book, "As a Man Thinketh" is filled with my thoughts and what I have observed about life and have come to believe. 

Another book, "I've Never Been Old Before" contains my thoughts about aging, losing a loved one and how I was able to rekindle an active life. 

I waited over fifty years to write my book about combat in the Korean War, "Recollections of a Boy Marine". In it, I was able to include my thoughts about patriotism and peace. 

Having spent many years teaching adult students, I've learned that there really is no need for me to have to give a "Last Lecture". And I believe that it isn't easy to affect another person with merely a lecture. No single lecture, speech or sermon can change human behavior. If a person is to change, it is always up to that individual to make any changes. Learning is a very personal thing, and should be left to a true professional - the learner himself.

At this age, sharing any wisdom that us old folks have accumulated is also not so easy. I often laugh about the fact that in growing older, we may have some wisdom to offer to others, but it really doesn't matter. Nobody listens anyway! ☺

 

Questions and Free Lunches

There are so many questions that I think about often. Like most of you, I've spent a great deal of time searching for the knowledge that would provide me with the answers to those questions. The years go by, I keep searching but, the questions remain and the answers continue to be elusive.

A quote from Will Durant captures my situation very well, "The most interesting thing in the world is another human being who wonders, suffers and raises the questions that have bothered him to the last day of his life, knowing he will never get the answers."

What questions am I talking about? The same questions that man has asked for centuries, mainly by Theologians, Philosophers and Metaphysicians. "Where did we come from?" - "Why are we here?" - "How did it all begin?" - "What was there before it began?"  I've always found it interesting that the questions have remained the same throughout my entire life. What's really troubling, is that the answers keep changing!

  

Scientists tell us that it all started with a bang. First there was a lot of nothing, then for some reason, it decided to explode. Not a little explosion, mind you, but one so big it made an entire universe that is still expanding. That's a lot for me to take on faith. Something out of nothing. A modern day "free lunch".

For those of us who believe it was all created by God, it also remains a matter of faith. Making everything out of nothing isn't a difficult task for God, though. Looking around, I see many miracles. Life itself, His most brilliant creation, is another example of "out of nothing". There is no "Big Bang" theory for how life began. Scientific lab experiments have yet to come close to creating this miracle. The questions remain, and the answers continue to differ. 

                             

I have more questions that I ponder. I see things that are so BIG that answering questions about them or trying to understand them, seems impossible. Looking up into the sky I see the light from distant stars and galaxies. Some of the objects out there are huge, but are so far away that they can't be seen at all. Just the ones we can see in our own solar system are immense. More than 1,000 earths can fit inside Jupiter. Our sun can hold 926 Jupiters. And, Antares, in another galaxy, can hold 572,000,000 of our suns! Now, that's big! I've got no answer for such enormity.

But, then there are also many questions about stuff that is really small. I've got some answers, but only a limited number. OK, I know that my computer is made up of tiny molecules. Each molecule is made up of even smaller things, the atoms. An atom is really small. In its center is the nucleus, smaller yet. It also has an outer band of even smaller things, electrons. Looking out from the nucleus, those electrons are 100,000 times the nucleus' size away from it - really far. Those electrons orbit around the nucleus in much the same way as the planets orbit the sun. Wait a minute - I have a question. Never mind, where were we?

What could be even smaller than the atom? With the invention of the cyclotron or "collider" things got smaller, much smaller. These devices spin particles round and round at incredibly high speeds. They then shoot them into the nucleus of an atom smashing it which releases several sub-atomic particles. A much tinier and mysterious world is opened up. These released new particles are very strange and follow different rules than do any other matter. It's a world that reveals surprising things and raises many more questions. Scientists describe what happens in the collider in terms that most of us would consider, mysticism. Scientists? Mystics?

   

In the world of sub-atomic physics (Quantum), the accepted rules about matter and energy are no longer valid. Can you imagine finding a sub-atomic particle that they describe as a ghost? Yes, it follows its own rules. It sometimes appears where there was nothing and disappears whenever it wants. Just when they find it in one location, it disappears and shows up elsewhere - or in several other places!

They have found other particles, too. The names they have given to some of these mysterious particles will give you a glimpse of this new world, "Charmed", "Up", "Down", "Strange", "Top", "Bottom". Scientists are at a loss to answer the questions they are now faced with.

They have found smaller and smaller particles that make up the nucleus of the atom. They have concluded that there had to be one more particle for them to find. It would be the key particle that is the "building" block for the creation of a nucleus, of an atom, of matter, of everything. It is the particle that would be required to start the whole process - making everything out of nothing, so to speak. They've named it the "God particle".

Never mind the answer - what was the question, again?