There's Enough Time

                             

Yes, time is passing and it may seem like you won't be able to do all the things that you want to do. But actually, there is more than enough time. There is time to do many important and wonderful things - things that really matter. They may be the most significant actions of your entire life. 

There is time to help others and time to feel good about yourself. Think about how you can do some of the things that follow and how they will affect your life. It will be time well spent. Put some time aside right now. 

Some people find it difficult to express feelings openly. Try to do it anyway. Are there those who love you? Now is a wonderful time to tell them that. Let them know that you value their love. Be sure to include how important they have been in your life and are now. Tell them how their being in your life sustains you and gives your life value. Can you imagine how awful it would be for them to never know how much they mean to you? 

Write that letter. Make that phone call. Reach out and give that hug. Try saying things like, “I’m so happy that you are my friend”. Do it – and be lavish in your praise.

Consider your relationship with your family and children. A friend of mine shared with me that he has not spoken to his son in fifteen years! Holy Smokes! I hope that you will look over that whole area of family. As parents, we always understood that a Mom or Dad would do anything for their kids. Honestly, most of them would have died for them. Well here’s an area that really matters and where your time can be well spent. 

Telling a son or daughter that they are loved is fine, and necessary. But telling them how important they are to your very existence is a precious gift for them. You can tell them that nothing in the world can duplicate the intensity of a child’s love, and how grateful you are to have it. Take the time to tell them how you share their joy and their pain because you love them so much. 

In my friend’s case, he said that his son had done bad things when he was young. That’s why he finds it difficult to “love” him. How’d you like to be judged by what you were like or what you did when you were only a kid? We are all different now. We grow, we learn, we change – they do too.

Don’t forget to give some time to offer kindness and gentleness to others. It is like food for both those who receive it and those who offer it. Imagine the joy you can give to Grandpop and Grandmom by just giving them a big, long hug without explanation. As people age they don't get hugged/touched like they used to - and they miss it. 

A kind word of appreciation to that guy who bags your groceries will make his day. Save some for all of those people who make your life a little easier. You’ll like how you feel.

Take some time to ask yourself if there are people you do not like. Are these people that you believe have hurt you? Do you know some people who can make you angry? Are there those to whom you will no longer speak? If the answer is yes to any of these, then consider how long this has been a part of your life. Has it been years? What is the toll this has taken on you? Does it still make you angry? Do you feel bad about it? You deserve to feel better than that, don’t you? What a wonderful time to relieve yourself of all those negative feelings. There is a way to make it all disappear, just like magic. Magic?

Do you believe in magic? I don’t either, but there is a magic trick you can use. I figure that you don’t have to believe in magic if you just use the trick, and it works. Using it will bring peace back into your life. What's the trick? It is the very powerful act of forgiveness. To forgive someone is to do something magical. A lot of wondrous things will occur. 

First, you will have freed the person whom you have judged. He or she is now relieved of the pain of being blamed. That person will now have more positive psychic energy with which to pursue their own happiness. Secondly, you  will also receive substantial benefits. They are immense. Forgiving another is like letting out the steam that has built up in YOUR boiler. Judging someone harshly, blaming or instilling a feeling of blame in them has taken a heavy toll on you. It causes a corrosive effect on your mind, your relationships, and your physical well-being. 

There is also much evidence to indicate that a substantial amount of destructive stress is internalized when we are harboring negative feelings toward another person. The additional “magic” in forgiving, is that you will become stress-free. You will begin enjoying a sense of rebirth and of feeling good about yourself. 

If you think about it, you’ll find that there is enough time after all, to do all of the things that really matter.  

The Only Words That Matter

Words are a major element in our lives. They certainly have been in my life. I've spoken a lot of them in seminars that I've taught and written a bunch of them in my books. I must have used millions of them, but no longer.

Since having retired, I don't need to use so many words. I find that I can get along just fine using only a dozen words. Really! These words are precious to me and to others who choose to use them. I see them as very valuable because they can produce a life that is comfortable, rewarding and stress-free. 

Only 12 words, but when spoken, they can produce miracles. Want to know what they are? A dozen words - five magical phrases.

                                        " I love you "
                                        " Thank you "
                                        " I'm sorry "
                                        " You're welcome "
                                        " I forgive you "

What can you do if other people don't speak these words to you? For those kinds of emergencies, there are two more words you can use, but not aloud. You say them only to yourself. 

                                         " That's OK! "  

In Honor of my USMC friend

On September 15, 1950, just before dark our company of US Marines landed on the beach at Inchon, Korea.

My team, led by M/Sgt Ed "Moose" Kirkpatrick got out of the landing craft and ran up on the sand. We found ourselves pinned down by heavy fire. He bravely rose up to lead us out, and was immediately hit and killed.

Ed is buried in the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery in San Diego. It's a picturesque, peaceful place overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

In memory of a true American hero 

MSgt Edward L. Kirkpatrick. 

A brother Marine and my good friend.
    RIP "Moose"

Semper Fidelis

Love Bugs

Love is in The Air

Living here on this lovely Island

Brings me days of pure enjoyment

Palms, flowers and the warmth of the sun

Gives a life that is serene and content.

But there is one thing I really dread

less time to play in the sand

Not as much splashing in the water

Something is changing the land.

No, it's not the threat of hurricanes

There are some things that are worst 

It's not the thunder from summer rains

that come to quench the flowers' thirst

What is it, then - that causes such distress

and has changed my Island conditions

It's the Love Bugs that arrive in May 

bringing none of their inhibitions!

Mangoes and Pruning

“Beware the Ides of March”. When I lived in Boca Raton, I would become very apprehensive in the early part of March. I really loved my Mango tree, and March was when the brand new little fruit was subjected to the strong winds of spring. I was not willing to lose any of the precious fruit from that tree. The fruit was very vulnerable to the winds because of what I thought was the tree's faulty design by its Creator. Before the fruit begins to form, there is a lengthening of each branch forming what would become the placenta for each mango. Those extensions would reach a length of twelve inches or more, a seemingly too generous dimension. But, as always, what appears to be a mistake in nature is a well-designed system able to act with other natural systems in the Universe.

Here's the way it works, and what I learned from watching this incredible life cycle development. In February, the blossoms appear on the ends of these long extensions. Bees and birds provide the required pollination. As each fruit develops, it looks like a small green pea attached to the tip of each whip-like placenta. During the remainder of February, the size and weight of the fruit increases. When they have grown to about an inch or two in diameter, they are heavy enough to pull at the placenta so that it hangs straight down. At this point, it looks like a Christmas tree adorned with pretty little green balls hanging from long strings. That's when I would begin to look forward to the very large harvest I would be enjoying in July. It was so exciting to anticipate the hundreds of delicious mangoes that I was going to enjoy eating. Before that pleasure, I first had to learn a lesson about mango trees, the Universal plan and a major lesson about life itself.

When the March winds arrived, the small fruits were very vulnerable to the whipping action designed into their lengthy placentas. It seemed awful to me that those fruits should be placed in such an untenable situation. Out there, somewhat helpless, they were confronted with a very harsh challenge. I felt so helpless as I watched the "uncaring", "unfeeling" wind stripping the small, helpless fruit from the ends of their placentas. So many were lost. My dream of an enormous harvest would become dimmer. I noticed, however, that the long placentas themselves were able to remain intact. They were made strong enough to survive the strongest gusts while the  still undeveloped fruit they held were torn away from their flailing tips. How could a tree be so poorly designed? To have to face those harsh March winds hanging from a long whip-like tail seemed to doom all of the fruit to certain abortion. But, it wasn’t. Many of the mangoes would survive.

Eventually, I was able to understand that I'd been witnessing another one of Nature's incredible miracles. The tree is designed perfectly for facing those March winds. The tree "knew" about those winds. It could anticipate it's own future. It knew that at full growth, each of its fruits would weigh a pound or more. It knew to make the placentas long enough to whip off only those fruits that would not survive development. The placentas were made strong enough to survive any gust so that they would remain able to hold and nourish the fully developed, heavy fruit. This whole process is part of the tree's life plan. It was able to produce a controlled environment that would allow its healthy fruit to survive while conserving its strength by eliminating the fruit that was weak. The tree had to maintain its own strength for its own survival - the purpose of life itself.

What a design! The tree, the fruit, the birds, the bees, the wind and all the time - the tree knew all of this. This process of pruning takes place in all living things. It is not just about evolution or the "strong surviving". Even Darwin would have preferred, "nurturing of the healthy". But there is more to it than that. There is something that is more planned, something that is more spiritual, something that indicates the existence of a truly "Grand Design". It's the fulfilling of a universal promise. It’s a promise that there will always be trees; that they will interact with the birds, the bees, the wind and me. We are a part of this Grand Design. It is quite natural that there be a similar process at work during our own life cycle.

This idea of “pruning” is an important part of our human growth and development. It is my belief that in order to fulfill our promise to our lives, it is necessary for us to improve ourselves and to develop as a person. I believe this to be our entire purpose for being alive. Improving ourselves begins with first accepting the notion that we are the source for our own comfort and serenity. What we think, what we have come to believe and the habits we have become addicted to will determine the quality of our lives. 

The process of improving our lot in life must also include some serious introspection. Consider the following thoughts one might consider during introspection: “Is the way I think bringing me problems?” “I’ve always responded in a certain way to this or that – I always get the same grief – maybe I shouldn’t react that way” “I worry about a lot of stuff – much of it never happens – and I don’t feel good when I worry – it may not be worth it” “George drives me nuts! – No, it looks like I’m allowing George to make me feel bad – I am the one who decides how I want to feel, not George - why do I do that?”

As you can see, any “pruning” that has to be done, will be done in our minds. It is there where we accumulate an abundance of irrational thoughts and ideas. Those thoughts are just like the fruit on my Mango tree. Many of them are not healthy enough to be allowed to continue. Why? Because many of these thoughts do not serve us well. We soon learn that it is the way we think and believe about things that will create most of our life’s reality. The anger we might feel toward another person or our harsh judging of them inflicts much more pain than we realize. Our own thoughts and resulting actions take their toll on us, as well. The stress we experience from such thoughts makes us more vulnerable to diseases and accidents. That alone should be an indication to us that we need to do some pruning and to make better choices.

Our "March winds" are the trials and the crises we face, as we grow older. Some of those ideas and beliefs will not survive the test of a particular crisis. As they are stripped away, we may experience a sense of loss, or even pain, but there is such a wonderful payoff for us. Somehow, with the pruning, new and healthier thoughts grow. These improved ways of thinking allow us to grow stronger and help us to survive. These life crises are actually the catalysts for growth and development. 

They are the life storms that seem so harsh, so uncaring, yet are also part of a larger plan. Like the March winds testing my mangoes, we are tested through many springs. Eventually, we understand the incredible miracle of life that we are living - we submit ourselves to the plan - and we grow.